trans talk

Hormonal hesitation

hormonal hesitation

is on my mind.

I often worry about the effects of the hormones GF’s taking.  We both think about her mones a lot but in different ways.

Her: I think my breasts stopped growing.  I’m definitely going to need surgery.
Me: I thought you said they weren’t finished?  And I thought I was impatient.
Her: They’re not growing as much these days.
Me: Didn’t you up your hormones?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Wait, did you up them again?  I have learned that when GF is down about the rate of her physical transition it’s because she’s increased her dosage and she’s not seeing results on the immediate enough.
Her: Yeah…a couple weeks ago.  Don’t worry, remember they started me on such a low dose that I can take a much higher dose and be okay, especially compared to the amounts my friends have been taking for years.
Me: …okaaay.  Of course I’m worried; hormones are fucking powerful and worrisome.  

a few hours later…
What the hell was that?!  Except I’m on a damn Skype work call so I can’t check to see what broken mess awaits me in the bedroom.

A couple hours later, post-Skype sesh, GF asks if I heard the crash?
Me: Uh, yeah, kinda hard to miss; what was that?
Her: Oh, I passed out and fell into the mannequin which crashed into the clothes rack against the window.
Me: Jesus Christ, are you okay?!  How are you always so casual about these things?
Her: I’m okay but I wondered why you didn’t come in here when I fell.
Me: I was on stupid Skype for work.  Is it because you upped your hormones?  I’m not scapegoating her hormones but surely it’s no coincidence that she started feeling faint when she had been on them for a couple months…and passing out has become more constant as she has increased her dose.
Her: I don’t know why I did, you know it’s been happening for a while now.  It could be any number of things.
Me: Maybe cut down on the cigarettes?  I don’t think they help.  Quitting hormones is out of the question and she will never attribute her passing out to them but I do want her to quit smoking.  She knows this.  I believe there’s a link between the cigarettes, hormones and passing out**.

Oh hormones, such necessary but troublesome little fuckers.

**My dumb ass didn’t realize that a BIG part of why she passed out was because she was fasting.  Yeah, fasting for days on end and passing out = correlation?  Duh.


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