trans talk

Transvestites and crossdressers

transvestites&crossdressers
mean the same thing but sure as fuck transvestites and crossdressers are not one and the same.

Basically, anyone donning clothing because such clothing is associated with that of the other gender is crossdressing.  Doing the action doesn’t necessarily make one a crossdresser.  And though the terms are interchangeable, some are highly offended at being referred to as transvestite rather than crossdresser and vice versa.

Why?
Perhaps because when the word transvestite first appeared, deriving sexual pleasure from crossdressing was part of its definition whereas the fetishistic element is no longer associated with its definition.
Simply put, the transvestite or crossdresser label— it’s personal.
Respect.

As requested, I attempt to name transvestite actors or musicians.

Boy George could do some fierce makeup and crossdressed here and there.  In the States, I remember my favorite childhood band, Nirvana, and Kurt Cobain sure did rock some dresses (very endearing, btw).  Eddie Izzard is probably the most famous (Executive haha) transvestite in the West but I’m hard-pressed to find other examples of dedicated cross dressers.  Sure, many actors and/or musicians crossdress but it’s rare that it continues after the role or performance.

Interestingly, in Japan, crossdressers have always been a part of popular culture, especially on TV.  There’s an expression, talento, that serves as a catch-all for B and C-list celebrities, be they comedians, musicians, actors etc. who are also on any number of Japanese variety shows (think a cross between Celebrity Jeopardy! and The View) most nights.  And you can always count on the token popular transvestite personality du jour (Matsuko Deluxe) as a regular on said show.  Aside from the made-up-for-TV-ultra-glam transvestite, many guys crossdress in Japan.  Skirts on men aren’t an anomaly on Tokyo streets, makeup for men is a thing that’s not just for a fringe group and here’s an interesting article regarding one aspect of crossdressing from RocketNews24.  The old man with pigtail-beard-braids in the schoolgirl uniform is a noted figure in Tokyo who makes quite the rounds at trans parties (and he’s so damn cute).

Although public crossdressing in the States is relegated to drag queen culture, in Japan it is a much more seamlessly integrated part of popular culture.  There are degrees to which one can crossdress without anyone giving two shits whereas in the States there seems to be a stringent need to categorizecompartmentalize, classify.

In the States:
Wait, you cross dress but you’re not a drag queen?  Or gay?  Hold up, you’re a transvestite and straight? (Research indicates that this is actually the case for the vast majority of transvestites).
No.  No.  Yes.
What. The. Fuck.

Whereas in Japan:
Your hair is so long!  Are you using a special shampoo?  And where did you get that skirt?!
Nah, I just brush it a lot and I got this at Parco (big department store), ladies department.

 

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random love

This is not crossdressing…

Truth or tact

or is it?

Some men wear bras.
In the everyday.
Why?
They say for physical and psychological comfort.
I think the psychological comfort in the vein of security and safety trumps the physical.
In short, they wear them because they want to.

Here’s my source.

On the one hand I think, so men wear bras…and?
Who cares, right?
Except anything that defies the majority thinking regarding traditional gender roles is fascinating to me, especially since my most recent relationship witnessed crossing gender boundaries and then some.

Someone said in the JapanToday article, “…this shouldn’t be a problem since men and women are supposed to be equal.”
I couldn’t agree more and yet I’m still curious as to the why.
Perhaps it’s because I’m completely cisgender (I so identify in my physical female self) that I’m very interested in the male processing.

But as I think about it, is it any different than the underwear women who aren’t so cisgender choose?  I’m not so fascinated when I know a woman prefers boy shorts/boxers/briefs and avoids underwire, padded, push-up, lacy, satiny ‘torture devices’. Yet men in bras fill me with curiosity and more than a few questions.

And it’s not a gay thing.

There’s still that annoyingly inaccurate and immediate ‘must be gay’ shout-out whenever anything remotely deviates from traditional gender roles.
Gotta love that insistent mentality that is so dismissive, ignorant and dated.
Get with it, people; meaning- think smarter.

So is it any more or less different?
Not really.

Then why do I get the feeling that when it’s found out that a guy wears bras, it’s a deal breaker?
IS it a deal breaker?

When my BF turned into GF, that was a deal breaker because I’m not so much a lesbian.
But if he just had a thing for bras would it have been?
I don’t think so.
Well…if he bought his own.

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relationshipping, trans talk

How NOT to come out to your girlfriend

How NOT to come out to your girlfriend

How about not on ecstasy?

Especially if it’s your GF’s first time on E?

This is what I remember:
Consumption of bitter white powder and 15 minutes later, I’m reeling over the toilet as my body wants this poison out ASAP.  But it doesn’t come up and another 15 minutes later I think I start feeling pretty fuzzy and sedate.  My boyfriend joins me on the couch after his porch cigarette and we’re doing the ecstasy love-stare into each other’s eyes when…

Him: I have to tell you something.
*big, trepidatious sigh, pregnant pause*
I’m a crossdresser.
Me: Seriously?
Him: slowly nodding, Seriously.
Me: Okaaay…processing, processing, on MDMA, processing…I’m really glad you’re telling me this…I still love you. I believe we’re shedding some tears; his of relief and mine, sympathetic

And then I’m off the couch, über-happy, dancing to music (where did that lovely beat come from?) and I grab his hands.  Let’s dress you the way you want to be dressed!!!, I say.  I’m so fucking high and elated at this point and all I remember is a collage of pink, orange, white and blue fabrics and colored bras that I’m putting on my bf as I’m shown a remarkable collection of his heels. Wow.  The heel collection makes his confession hit home: my boyfriend really is a crossdresser. But that hit is short-lived as my emotions are still in a blissful E-tornado.

And then morning hits.

I feel like total crap.  I’m drained and my body is not impressed with the dose of toxins its been subjected to and my mind is trying to begin the morning-after sort.  After I re-realize that, yes, my boyfriend really did come out as a crossdresser last night, my emotions start to kick in. I suddenly have a zillion questions (since when? why now? does anyone else know? what does this mean? is this a precursor to something more? etc. etc.),  I’m confused for the future and I’m pissed (was it his plan to dope me ridiculously happy so I would give him the reaction he wanted?!!!). And WTF is this dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach saying, “there’s more…”?  The trifecta of anger-suspicion-mistrust is the main reason why I suggest not coming out to your partner on mind-bending drugs.

Mostly unbeknownst to us, it will have turned out to be the 1st chapter of an entirely new relationship.

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