I’m out, having drinks with friends and it’s getting late. My phone buzzes, the ex asks if it’s cool for her date to crash on the couch as she’s missed the last train. The ex goes on to say that her date has to catch the first train (5AM hour). Sure, I reply. I feel for anyone who’s missed the last train (side note: it’s annoying that the trains and subways don’t run 24/7), plus the girl will be gone before I need to get ready for my day.
I approach my apartment around 2AM, anticipating the ex and date’s presence but no one’s home. It’s a bit of a mess so I ask for an ETA and if she wants me to tidy up. I clean up the living room, ready pillows and a blanket then crash.
Holy fuck they’re loud and so fucking drunk. I roll over, squint at my phone…4:07. Goddammit. Why are they even here for less than an hour? I try to go back to sleep but I’m annoyed so sleep is a hard sell. Just. Sleep. Fucking sleep.
The date’s pretty loud; my ex hushes her a few times, as successfully as a wasted person can. Then they start making out. There’s something so fucking distinct about make out sounds and apparently I can’t filter that shit out. And I’m currently pissed. WHY didn’t they stay out? What’s 45 more minutes of
hanging making out before her first train? They can make out someplace— oh shit, please don’t have them do the sex. I’m tired, currently cranky and simply don’t have it in me to listen to my ex doing it.
Enter music library.
Select all songs, random play.
Turn the volume UP.
I hear an, “Oh shit.”
Then silence save for some CHVRCHES song.
I’ve already witnessed one ex make the new GF orgasm, an ex-roommate fucking potential BF; I sure as hell don’t need a repeat.
The shit sparks some emotional reactions and
once twice is enough.
I’m able to sleep for about two hours before I beat my alarm to a wake up. I’m hopeful that the place will be cleared. And by ‘cleared’, if I mean that a half-naked ex and date are strewn on the couch, then total success has happened. They’re so passed out from many hours of drinking— god, I can smell the sweet-stale sweat reek of last night/this morning’s booze wafting off of them…hey, hooray for not worrying about tip-toeing as I get ready. This small detail relieves me and my irritation level immediately drops; after all, I’m sincerely happy that my ex had, clearly, a successful first date with this girl.
Living with the ex: it’s not intolerable but it’s not ideal and sometimes just plain hard.
Then there’s me, my actions, the hurt they cause said ex.
But that warrants its own post.