It’s like this, he says:
We see you [women] and we’re attracted to you or we’re not. The growing more physically attracted to someone, that’s only for women. Guys don’t work like that.
He, by the way, is a damn straight-shooting, sometimes fool. His relationships often have a touch of cray but he thoroughly gets the male versus female perspective, to an almost alarming extent. So I believe him; his brutal truth hasn’t let me down yet.
So the good thing is, if he thinks you’re hot, you’re hot. The ‘more hotter’ thing doesn’t happen.
Except this makes me feel like my attractiveness has peaked.
And it is different for women. As the general attraction grows, the more physically attractive my potential person is to me. They get hotter, men and women.
I ask S about this.
Me: When you were a guy, you identified with the whole finding someone attractive on sight and they don’t get more attractive?
S: Pretty much…I mean, I’d like them more but if they’re beautiful, they’re always beautiful.
Me: And now, as a woman, is it different? Do people become more physically attractive the longer you hang out with them or the more you like them?
S: … Actually, yeah. When I dated ***, I didn’t think he was super cute but the more we hung out, his endearing qualities made him cuter to me.
Me: What about with women? Do they grow more beautiful as you get to know them?
S: Well, seeing as I’ve only been on one date with a woman, I can’t really say. Pause. But I don’t think so.
As S has become thoroughly female, it’s not so often that we have before-and-after-esque chats but sometimes— like today— we do and her perspective never fails to amaze me. It’s fascinating that she can still key into a masculine point of view as her own has shifted decidedly feminine. As she collects new experiences and continuously expands her worldview, I can’t help but think that her transition has made her a force to be reckoned with. I keep awaiting the day I’ll be saying, “I knew her when…”